Anna, Anonymous

SCENE ONE

 

Lights up on a restaurant, decorated in neon advertisements of different beers. This place is casual. A perfect place for a first date. TOM CARTER (22), is sitting at one of the tables with a soda and french fries, both untouched. He is dressed in a suit.

He looks at his watch, then scans the room. Hope, then disappointment.

He reaches for a fry and almost eats it until ANNA CLEARY (22), enters the restaurant. She is in sweatpants and a cardigan, underdressed. She scans the room and notices TOM then runs up to him. TOM gets up, out of his seat.

 

TOM

Hi, I’m Tom

 

Anna leans on her chair as soon as she’s at the table.

 

ANNA
(Quick, out of breath)
Hi, just one sec. WAITER! CAN I GET A WAITER!

 

Waiter comes over, in the classic American-style uniform.

 

WAITER
(Cheerful)
How can I-

 

ANNA
(To Waiter)
Yeah, can I get a whiskey, like ASAP.
(To Tom)
You want anything?

 

TOM
I’m still looking-

 

ANNA
Ok so that’ll be it thank you!

 

Waiter, no longer cheerful, leaves in a hurry. She sits.

 

TOM
Traffic must have been bad

 

ANNA
Sorry. Can I just vent to you right now?

 

TOM
Um sure, I mean-

 

ANNA
(Rushing)
So, you ever get a call from your mother and she’s yelling at you about how she can’t find the blueberry tequila ice cream at CVS? And you freak out because you know she’s drunk and you rush to find her Mercedes Benz double parked in a handicap spot and then, not only that but, you find her on the floor of the ice cream section covered in rum raisin ice cream because she was “tired of looking for blueberry tequila ice cream”?
There is no such thing as blueberry tequila ice cream. I don’t even think tequila ice cream is a fucking thing. So, of course, she picked rum raisin. And I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that no one working there noticed the drunk whack job in the back yelling about the rum raisin ice cream not having any actual alcohol in it or the fact that I was actually impressed that she managed to do all of this while drunk.

 

Gasp of air. Waiter comes back with a shot glass and a bottle of whiskey.

 

ANNA (CONT’D)
Leave the bottle, please and thank you. Anyways, Hi, I’m Anna, I’m 22, a Virgo, I had two minutes to get ready for this date and since this is probably the last time we’ll be seeing each other, I just wanna say sorry for being late and uh… I hate blueberries.

 

Anna takes a shot. Tom sits stunned, taking a moment to take in what he’s heard. Until…

 

TOM
(Confused)
Did you just include a fun fact about yourself at the end there?

 

ANNA
There were a lot of fun facts in there, but yes. I do hate blueberries and my life truly is a great big barrel of laughs… I just want you to know I’m not a bitch to waiters.

 

TOM
It’s ok, I think you have a good enough excuse.

 

A pause.

 

TOM (CONT’D)
The most exciting thing my mom ever does while drunk is get a little too aggressive during her bridge nights. Real competitive streak.

 

Anna pours another shot.

 

ANNA
Cheers to mama bear!

 

He laughs.

 

ANNA (CONT’D)
What even is bridge?

 

Tom shrugs.

 

TOM
I think it’s a game you just start playing when you reach the age of 50 and stop playing when you die.

 

ANNA
(Annoyed, but not at him)
Well then, I better get my mom to play… Trust me. A mother that is more exciting than mama bear bridge player is, and I’m not exaggerating, a living hell.

 

Another drink.

 

ANNA (CONT’D)
You want some?

 

TOM
(Lightening the tension)
Only if you order food first. Oh, and tell me your favorite color. Or your social security number.

 

They laugh at this comment, but she doesn’t answer. They are starting to be at ease with each other, but it is still a little awkward.

 

TOM (CONT’D)
(An interjection of sorts)
Hey, at least your mom wasn’t your 10th grade homecoming date. Anyways, I think I have to hear more about this tequila woman.

 

ANNA
Woah, woah, wait. We are not talking about my bitch of a mother until we work through your high school mommy issues.

 

She smiles and steals a fry. He notices.

 

TOM
You sure?

 

ANNA
YES.

 

TOM
Ok, so it all started with Rebecca Johnson…

 

ANNA
Oh, Fuck her. Fuck Rebecca Johnson!

 

TOM
(Chuckling)
That part doesn’t happen yet!

 

ANNA
OH.

 

Big burst of laughter begins and continues to fill the room.

 

ANNA (CONT’D)
Blue.

 

TOM
Mine too. So, Rebecca Johnson…

 

BLACK OUT.

Juan Dueñas is a sophomore BA Acting major. He is a member of Brand New Theatre Co. and a member of Delta Kappa Alpha. He is just getting into the groove of playwriting and is excited to see his work being shared for others to read. He wants to thank his playwriting professors Oliver Mayer and Elizabeth Wong for sparking his passion for writing these stories and motivating him to keep finding the next page in the process.