As I discussed in my book — Younger generations are becoming increasingly unhooked from traditional social institutions like churches and committed relationships. Almost a quarter of Milleniels and Gen Z say they have no friends. 43% of Gen Z are religiuously unaffiliated. At the same time — anxiety and depression are at thirty year highs. Now, a new study out of Columbia — the first large-scale national survey on the subject of enstrangement from family by Human Ecologist Karl Pillemer has found that — 27% of Americans 18 and older had cut off contact with a family member. Digital natives, particularly Millennials and younger, are more likely to experience estrangement from family members. The hashtag #toxicfamily has been trending on Tik Tok, as young people turn to virtual peers to discuss their experiences and share their lives. Family estrangement can occur for a variety of reasons, including abuse, neglect, and trauma. If a family member has experienced any of these, they may choose to distance themselves from the family in order to protect themselves from further harm.Another common reason for family estrangement is a disagreement or conflict that cannot be resolved. This could be related to differing values, beliefs, or lifestyles. If the conflict is severe enough, it may lead to a permanent rift in the family. Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that every individual’s situation is unique and personal. There may be valid reasons why a young person chooses to cut ties with their family, such as abuse, neglect, or toxic behavior.

It’s not our place to judge their decision without understanding their circumstances. However, it’s also important to consider the potential consequences of cutting ties with family too quickly.

Family relationships are often the longest-lasting relationships in our lives, and they can provide a sense of belonging, support, and stability. Without these relationships, young people may struggle to navigate life’s challenges.Moreover, cutting ties with family can have a ripple effect on other relationships and social institutions. It can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection from community, which can impact mental health and well-being. It’s important for young people to consider the long-term effects of their decisions and seek support and guidance as needed. As I’ve said before — coming untethered can mean coming unmoored: it ultimately can be destabilizing not only for the person, but ultimately for communities and for society at large, as the social fabric which holds us together frays.