Preface. A Proud Player
Closing my eyes, a warrior rises up.
Why then? The past once caught up.
If I look upward, what shall I see?
Green green grass, blue blue memories.
All flowers are blooming brightly.
All kids are laughing happily.
When I couldn’t run, could I fly?
Like a lovelorn kite chased by the sky.
Like an unruly bird in freedom unbound.
Poking yesterday, have I been found?
I see. I finally see.
Finally, we all shall see.
Ivan Zhanhu Feng
6/28/2022
XV. The Other Side
Beneath rolling mountains,
Within sinuous trails,
Everyone moves forward in phantasy,
Dreaming a hopeful future,
Seeking an uncertain venture.
So convinced the promised land is calling,
The woods are filling with sunshine to move on.
Free hopes letting birds send wishes down,
They are hovering over liberty,
Before returning to the sun.
The mountains once again blocked the cloud,
Rushing to the peak of infinity.
Obstreperous music has intoxicated the valley,
Letting intriguing forces drive forward,
Watching all bask in ethereal warmth.
Christmas Day, 2022
At Griffith Park, Los Feliz
XIV. Trapped in Yesterday
Wind chimes start to wither
Taking away beckoning land from the past
A serene road has been cut off
Leaving memories with impalpable worth
A lonesome soldier trapped in yesterday
He’s seeking the path of dawn
Wandering in scenes made of dreams
Letting the last calling fly in perpetuity
Watch the tree growing strength
Has it felt the stars waving afar
A yearning is still here lingering
If the gale has heard the leaves groan
12/19/2022
At Marina del Rey, LA
XIII. Yesterday Garden
I woke up in the yesterday garden,
While I was flying with a song.
The afterglow chased a forlorn martin,
Calling carefree clouds over the throng.
Rolling sands refreshed long-lost souls,
Precarious swings awaiting the eternal vast.
Seeking the wave of lost goals,
Free twilight had awakened the unchained past.
12/17/2022
At Santa Monica Pier, LA
XII. Old Fountain
Near an old fountain
Floats liberty of demise
Lifting a tenacious mountain
Disturbs the heart in disguise
Rise up spirited hope
Wandering around with free love
Sing out in a nostalgic scope
Chasing after the unchained dove
Nov 26, 2022
At MacArthur Park
XI. Like a song
Like a song from the past
Tide of memories fades so fast
As if a dream calling afar
Bells of woe awakened a desolate star
Let there always be thankful light
Transcending dusk trapped in a night
Nightingale is still singing mirth
Watching serenades rouse the earth
Thanksgiving night, 2022
At Echo Park Lake
X. Autumn
The night is late, stars swaying.
Winds are quiet, the heart calling.
Autumn is coming, a dream waving.
Thoughts wake up, one moment lasting.
10/10/2021
IX. A Birthday Poem for Jonathan
Aloft night sleeps tight
Awaiting dawning in delight
Wind chimes jingle from infinity
Awakening a cheerful twilight
The moon revels in gentle time
Breezes are blowing poetic rhyme
Dreams have bathed in golden orchids
Watching serene flowers blossom their prime
A liberal house overflows with laughter
Cordial affection is burning brighter
Stars are blessing a congenial friend
Ready to unfasten his next grand chapter
Candles have lit up the gorgeous hall
Dreamy feast ablaze with the twilight of fall
The sun will rise at the most enchanting moment
That shall ray the true warmth for all
Oct 1, 2022
(Note: the last two lines imitate and pay tribute to Jonathan’s sonnet: “A meaning must exist”.)
VIII. Mathematics Tea
Here comes the room leading to infinity,
Unruly tables deceived into chaos.
Lending suspicious halls audacious dignity,
While capturing a single moment of pathos.
The friendly counter radiates felicity,
Generating harmony like nostalgic polkas.
Flowers blossom into unruffled dreams,
A tender reunion witnessed by grace.
Cookies dance with tasteful creams,
While chairs embark on a fearless chase.
Aloof windows greet the lonely beams,
Together uncovering the beckoning space.
Whiteboards are riddled with poignant courage,
Yet curtains embrace a breeze of delight.
Watching afar is the misty voyage,
Under the unruly sunshine burning bright.
The restless clock portrays a forlorn image,
Yet lets rosy peace immerse in eternal light.
Sep 9~11, 2022
At KAP Hall, USC
VII. Apple
From a tree to unruly gravitation
From a garage to unbound infinity
Countless yearnings are condensing
Waiting for one moment of witness
A different thinker has never left
Eternal hunger is calling the invulnerable vest
The round pegs making the last struggle
Crazy ones assemble here right now
All have fallen apart
Why is there arising the sun
The losers now are waiting in peace
We shall find the revolution you wanted
9/6/2022
At Fairmont Apt., University Park
VI. Seashore Duet
i) Sea Lion
Trapped in the heat of a dock
Who gave my heart a knock
Gulls are crossing the placid stream
Trying to disturb a loyal dream
I’ve climbed the mountains one by one
Under the unruly sturdy sun
I got tired of the beach
Got tired of the sea beyond my reach
Tired of the cloud with all thunders
Tired of a fable with no wonders
Flying demons are crying
Tears of the touch are dying
Why are we still in that place
Why won’t we just show some grace
Giving hope to the mind
Pick up pieces we’ve yet to find
One more time and we’re done
Yearnings said we have won
Like always we shall start
Promising that we’ll never part
8/20/2022
At Burton W. Chase Park, Marina Del Rey
ii) The Beach
Finally I’ve reached the sea
A whale with fins shall be free
I guess they may never know
Solitude just won’t block hope
Make the most of the sunshine
Try the best that I can
Greet each person and say hi
Just don’t let a good dream die
The beach won’t let you go
The lighthouse shall try and glow
Don’t ask when planes will be back
The wave of hopes will never crack
Whispers of the breeze have made me blind
Yearnings of the dolphin have moved my mind
You know the soldier has been suffering
From the choppers still hovering
From a nightmare that has no stop
From a mountain that has no top
Don’t take my genial sunshine
Don’t take sweet memories from wine
Don’t take pride of rain from the sky
A bird with wings shall always fly
8/20/2022
At Manhattan Beach, Marina del Rey
V. Arcade Trilogy
i) Subway
When you come back
Let the soul door crack
Enter this bright room
Cast off the candid gloom
Plastic joy trapped in a screen
Overflows with yellow and green
Courageous arrows that never meet
Are flying from the heartbreak street
Just give hope to a yearning heart
Let every table be a new start
Fantasy fountains are blooming bright
On such a forlorn joyful night
8/4/2022
At a Subway restaurant near the Colorful Fountains, LA
ii) Trader Joe’s
From infinity to a fading past
Why do peaceful memories never last
Sturdy guardian is standing tight
Nameless beams are burning bright
Planes are flying to eternity
Leaving only a trace of uncertainty
Forlorn fountain captures a tranquil second
Formed by another courageous legend
An imperceptible hesitation stopped by
Wondering when purity grew to the sky
Clouds passing by an airtight wall
Continue to embrace an exhausted mall
8/5/2022
At Trader Joe’s in USC Village
iii) Target
A peaceful night remembers desolate dreams
Like the inconspicuous box overflowing with creams
Carts transcend pedantic rules of limits
Watching wandering goals ignite brimming spirits
Red circles hiding from the beckoning sculpture
Uncanny uniforms uncover a nostalgic juncture
Colorful balloons dream dazzling fantasy
Surpassing the last bound in the galaxy
Fear in nature is twinkling audacious hopes
Taking back all stars beyond melancholy scopes
Strange umbrellas calling the receding dove
Casual fragrances have lightened the eternal love
8/10/2022
At Target on Figueroa St, LA
IV. Nostalgic Hotel
Holding tight, an angel is about to awaken
Dreamy lights are unfastening
Night winds sending a burst of charm
Standing like the land, hoping like the sea
Aloof hearts are burning with innocent tears
Holding tight, a journey is about to leave
Bright trees are waving
The untouched moon uncovering a beam of wonder
Chasing like a kid, dreaming like a bird
Lonesome adventures are lost with yearnings
Holding tight, a valley is about to rise
Peaceful memories are drifting down
The congealed time striking fragrance
Stout like a sword, cloying like a sandwich
Nameless valor is found with fantasy
Holding tight, the stillness is about to fly
Unchained pasts are catching up
A restless rebel being back sobering
Gaudy like a flower, helpless like an orphan
Eternal stars are calling with lost souls
7/24/2022
At Westin-Bonaventure Hotel, LA
（Note: When I was writing the last verse, I heard of the LA park shooting that happened the same day that Sunday. That’s why I said the last few lines in this poem. This poem is dedicated to those killed and their loved ones.)
III. Shooting Star
Who’s ever heard
Under the detached sky
In the grief wind
There’s an agonizing street
At the end of the road
Lies a dreary stream
There swim ghastly birds
And the woods of demise
Beneath a quiver tree
Desolation strives to fly
A child’s soul was buried
Every hope could die
A meteor‘s crossing the cloud
When shall she return to the sky
The firmament was shocked
His open arms couldn’t keep this heart
A beam sprays on the street
Every light is so queer
It disturbs stars in the water
Consisting of the moon’s tear
The moon is not satisfied
That he’s lost a star’s care
But why is he still shining
And shining so bright
Oh how senseless
Why should he feel blue
But somehow that hurt him deeper
Than any lightyears he’d been though
The moon was kind and blind
He thought stars knew his mind
He believed they desired more love
Or else he would’ve never tried
The moon feels so lonely
That a soul mate has left his sky
The moon feels so sad
That maybe she never belonged here
Anguish quietly floats down
To the same street of gloom
The aloof wind howls hard
Through the soul’s lonesome tomb
7/19/2022
At Stardust Apt, LA
II. Like a bird
We were surrounded in a cloud
With too little care
We were lost in a sky
With too much fear
Why it’s gotta be true
Who will tell me why
We were left in a world
Where no feelings were shared
We were trapped in a coop
Where no dream was cheered
But as long as you have hope
We can let our souls fly
Did you see the glimmer
Approaching all the dark
Did you hear the wind
Chasing all our scare
While you can love
The sun will appear
There was a lonely heart
No escaping the rain
There were blue memories
Filled with unruly pain
Why do you seem weary tonight
You gotta fly, you gotta fly
While you are lost
I’ll forever be there
While you can dream
You have the strength to fly
Don’t be falling in the dark
Come sit by me
Let hope block all the dread
Still yearnings are there
What do you feel inside
Get out of the past
Shake off all your despair
Give me your hand
You’ve never left my mind
Tell me why
Why are you troubled in detached
Tell me why
Why can’t you see the sky
Free up the guard
Let the joyful times appear
Break down the shackle
Let our stray souls fly
Are you still here
Are you still here
No need to be depressed
The sky will soon be clear
No need to be scared
I’ll be always by your side
I’ll be always by your side
July 8th, 2022
At USC Village
I. Lost in Los Angeles
Click here to listen (read by Nathanial)
Click here to listen (read by Ivan)
Are you afraid？
I’ve seen the dark and light.
Do you believe in fate?
It’s a melting town alright.
Are you afraid？
Blue night with shaking stars.
Nameless tracks chasing restless hearts,
Out of disguise all was found.
Are you afraid?
Kindness is seeking its way.
A lone warrior has his day.
He’s felt the mountaintop overhead.
Are you afraid?
True love shall never fade.
If you’ve seen the grace,
Why were you lost in the promised land?
Are you afraid?
All the unruly years in a bind.
Watching memories of serenity float,
Let the best of time freeze and stay.
Are you afraid？
I’ve seen the dawning and twilight.
Have you been weary tonight?
It’s a melting town alright.
Jun 25, 2022
On South Flower St, LA