{"id":5435,"date":"2025-04-18T03:01:00","date_gmt":"2025-04-18T10:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/?p=5435"},"modified":"2025-04-17T10:21:08","modified_gmt":"2025-04-17T17:21:08","slug":"3-13-25","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/","title":{"rendered":"3\/13\/25"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
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3\/13\/25<\/h1>\n\n\n<\/div>\n \n \n By<\/span>Chloe Bay<\/strong>\n \n April 18, 2025<\/span>\n <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
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\n \n \n Share\n <\/span>\n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/span>\n Copy Link<\/span>\n <\/a>\n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/span>\n Facebook<\/span>\n <\/a>\n \n \n \n\n<\/svg>\n\n <\/span>\n X<\/span>\n <\/a>\n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/span>\n LinkedIn<\/span>\n <\/a>\n \n \n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/span>\n Bluesky<\/span>\n <\/a>\n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/span>\n Email<\/span>\n <\/a>\n <\/span>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n \n\n\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
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when i was 16 i dreamt of giving birth in the supermarket
\nnot a clean catholic birth but the spray paint spill of my blood across the linoleum
\nsmashed egg carton of my innards, shining under the fluorescents
\nit was too bright, and i had to screw up my eyes, the back of the lids hot orange
\nthe dream was long, a sped-up blurred camera reel of hours
\nand then everything snapped into place, and i held him in my arms
\ninexplicably washed, pale and warm and so so alive
\nmore alive than i\u2019d ever thought anything, gone and then suddenly there
\npulling down the neck of my shirt, holding him to my chest, his hot mouth around my nipple
\nhis little twitching body against my bare chest
\njust holding him, sitting on the floor in the blood and fluid, glowing
\nand then i woke up, arms empty, a cavity in my stomach
\nthe space he used to be, the lightness of my arms, holding his silhouette
\nin a haze all that morning, a phantom aching in my hips, my breasts
\ni never named him, and now it feels too late, too far gone
\njust some errant clip of synapses, the twenty minutes between dawn and waking<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

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Chloe Bay<\/strong> is a first year BA Theatre (Acting) student from Vashon, Washington. She writes poetry about her life, about things that happened and things that didn\u2019t, things she wished had happened, dreams she\u2019s had, the things that happen in your head when you lay in the sun too long or look out the window too long. You can find Chloe on Instagram <\/span>here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":288,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-5435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spring-2025","tag-poetry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n3\/13\/25<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3\/13\/25 - Palaver Arts Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Palaver Arts Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/palaver.arts.magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-04-18T10:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/175\/2023\/06\/palaver-logo.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"710\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"198\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"akcannon\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"akcannon\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/live-usc-dornsife.pantheonsite.io\/palaver\/#\/schema\/person\/8ac801b3c8176b6860207b43ecbe9e78\"},\"headline\":\"3\/13\/25\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-18T10:01:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\"},\"wordCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/live-usc-dornsife.pantheonsite.io\/palaver\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Poetry\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Issue 17: Spring 2025\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/palaver\/spring-2025\/3-13-25\/\",\"name\":\"3\/13\/25 - 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