{"id":274,"date":"2023-10-02T15:47:17","date_gmt":"2023-10-02T22:47:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/live-usc-dornsife.pantheonsite.io\/zhanhu\/?page_id=274"},"modified":"2024-09-02T17:24:14","modified_gmt":"2024-09-03T00:24:14","slug":"2022-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/ivan\/2022-2\/","title":{"rendered":"2022"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n\n \n \n
\n\n \n

Preface.\u00a0A Proud Player<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Closing my eyes, a warrior rises up.
\nWhy then? The past once caught up.
\nIf I look upward, what shall I see?
\nGreen green grass, blue blue memories.
\nAll flowers are blooming brightly.
\nAll kids are laughing happily.
\nWhen I couldn\u2019t run, could I fly?
\nLike a lovelorn kite chased by the sky.
\nLike an unruly bird in\u00a0freedom\u00a0unbound.
\nPoking yesterday, have I been found?
\nI see. I finally see.
\nFinally, we all shall see.<\/p>\n

Ivan Zhanhu Feng
\n6\/28\/2022<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

XV. The Other Side<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Beneath rolling mountains,
\nWithin sinuous trails,
\nEveryone moves forward in phantasy,
\nDreaming a hopeful future,
\nSeeking an uncertain venture.<\/p>\n

So convinced the promised land is calling,
\nThe woods are filling with sunshine to move on.
\nFree hopes letting birds send wishes down,
\nThey are hovering over liberty,
\nBefore returning to the sun.<\/p>\n

The mountains once again blocked the cloud,
\nRushing to the peak of infinity.
\nObstreperous music has intoxicated the valley,
\nLetting intriguing forces drive forward,
\nWatching all bask in ethereal warmth.<\/p>\n

Christmas Day, 2022
\nAt Griffith Park, Los Feliz<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

XIV.\u00a0Trapped in Yesterday<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wind chimes start to wither
\nTaking away beckoning land from the past
\nA serene road has been cut off
\nLeaving memories with impalpable worth
\nA lonesome soldier trapped in yesterday
\nHe’s seeking the path of dawn
\nWandering in scenes made of dreams
\nLetting the last calling fly in perpetuity
\nWatch the tree growing strength
\nHas it felt the stars waving afar
\nA yearning is still here lingering
\nIf the gale has heard the leaves groan<\/p>\n

12\/19\/2022
\nAt Marina del Rey, LA<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

XIII.\u00a0Yesterday Garden<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

I woke up in the yesterday garden,
\nWhile I was flying with a song.
\nThe afterglow chased a forlorn martin,
\nCalling carefree clouds over the throng.<\/p>\n

Rolling sands refreshed long-lost souls,
\nPrecarious swings awaiting the eternal vast.
\nSeeking the wave of lost goals,
\nFree twilight had awakened the unchained past.<\/p>\n

12\/17\/2022
\nAt Santa Monica Pier, LA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

XII.\u00a0Old Fountain<\/strong><\/p>\n

Near an old fountain
\nFloats liberty of demise
\nLifting a tenacious mountain
\nDisturbs the heart in disguise<\/p>\n

Rise up spirited hope
\nWandering around with free love
\nSing out in a nostalgic scope
\nChasing after the unchained dove<\/p>\n

Nov 26, 2022
\nAt MacArthur Park<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

XI.\u00a0Like a song<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Like a song from the past
\nTide of memories fades so fast
\nAs if a dream calling afar
\nBells of woe awakened a desolate star<\/p>\n

Let there always be thankful light
\nTranscending dusk trapped in a night
\nNightingale is still singing mirth
\nWatching serenades rouse the earth<\/p>\n

Thanksgiving night, 2022
\nAt Echo Park Lake<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

X.\u00a0Autumn<\/strong><\/p>\n

The night is late, stars swaying.
\nWinds are quiet, the heart calling.
\nAutumn is coming, a dream waving.
\nThoughts wake up, one moment lasting.<\/p>\n

10\/10\/2021<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

IX.\u00a0A Birthday Poem for Jonathan<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"(Photo by Anna Sajan at Jonathan\u2019s house 2022)<\/p>\n

Aloft night sleeps tight
\nAwaiting dawning in delight
\nWind chimes jingle from infinity
\nAwakening a cheerful twilight<\/p>\n

The moon revels in gentle time
\nBreezes are blowing poetic rhyme
\nDreams have bathed in golden orchids
\nWatching serene flowers blossom their prime<\/p>\n

A liberal house overflows with laughter
\nCordial affection is burning brighter
\nStars are blessing a congenial friend
\nReady to unfasten his next grand chapter<\/p>\n

Candles have lit up the gorgeous hall
\nDreamy feast ablaze with the twilight of fall
\nThe sun will rise at the most enchanting moment
\nThat shall ray the true warmth for all<\/p>\n

Oct 1, 2022
\n(Note: the last two lines imitate and pay tribute to Jonathan’s sonnet: “A meaning must exist”.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

VIII. Mathematics Tea<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Here comes the room leading to infinity,
\nUnruly tables deceived into chaos.
\nLending suspicious halls audacious dignity,
\nWhile capturing a single moment of pathos.
\nThe friendly counter radiates felicity,
\nGenerating harmony like nostalgic polkas.<\/p>\n

Flowers blossom into unruffled dreams,
\nA tender reunion witnessed by grace.
\nCookies dance with tasteful creams,
\nWhile chairs embark on a fearless chase.
\nAloof windows greet the lonely beams,
\nTogether uncovering the beckoning space.<\/p>\n

Whiteboards are riddled with poignant courage,
\nYet curtains embrace a breeze of delight.
\nWatching afar is the misty voyage,
\nUnder the unruly sunshine burning bright.
\nThe restless clock portrays a forlorn image,
\nYet lets rosy peace immerse in eternal light.<\/p>\n

Sep 9~11, 2022
\nAt KAP Hall, USC<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

VII.\u00a0Apple<\/strong><\/p>\n

From a tree to unruly gravitation
\nFrom a garage to unbound infinity
\nCountless yearnings are condensing
\nWaiting for one moment of witness<\/p>\n

A different thinker has never left
\nEternal hunger is calling the invulnerable vest
\nThe round pegs making the last struggle
\nCrazy ones assemble here right now<\/p>\n

All have fallen apart
\nWhy is there arising the sun
\nThe losers now are waiting in peace
\nWe shall find the revolution you wanted<\/p>\n

9\/6\/2022
\nAt Fairmont Apt., University Park<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

VI.\u00a0Seashore Duet<\/strong><\/p>\n

i)\u00a0Sea Lion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trapped in the heat of a dock
\nWho gave my heart a knock
\nGulls are crossing the placid stream
\nTrying to disturb a loyal dream
\nI\u2019ve climbed the mountains one by one
\nUnder the unruly sturdy sun
\nI got tired of the beach
\nGot tired of the sea beyond my reach
\nTired of the cloud with all thunders
\nTired of a fable with no wonders
\nFlying demons are crying
\nTears of the touch are dying
\nWhy are we still in that place
\nWhy won\u2019t we just show some grace
\nGiving hope to the mind
\nPick up pieces we\u2019ve yet to find
\nOne more time and we\u2019re done
\nYearnings said we have won
\nLike always we shall start
\nPromising that we\u2019ll never part<\/p>\n

8\/20\/2022
\nAt Burton W. Chase Park, Marina Del Rey<\/p>\n

ii)\u00a0The Beach<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Finally I’ve reached the sea
\nA whale with fins shall be free
\nI guess they may never know
\nSolitude just won\u2019t block hope
\nMake the most of the sunshine
\nTry the best that I can
\nGreet each person and say hi
\nJust don\u2019t let a good dream die
\nThe beach won\u2019t let you go
\nThe lighthouse shall try and glow
\nDon\u2019t ask when planes will be back
\nThe wave of hopes will never crack
\nWhispers of the breeze have made me blind
\nYearnings of the dolphin have moved my mind
\nYou know the soldier has been suffering
\nFrom the choppers still hovering
\nFrom a nightmare that has no stop
\nFrom a mountain that has no top
\nDon\u2019t take my genial sunshine
\nDon\u2019t take sweet memories from wine
\nDon’t take pride of rain from the sky
\nA bird with wings shall always fly<\/p>\n

8\/20\/2022
\nAt Manhattan Beach, Marina del Rey<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

V.\u00a0Arcade Trilogy<\/strong><\/p>\n

i) Subway<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you come back
\nLet the soul door crack
\nEnter this bright room
\nCast off the candid gloom
\nPlastic joy trapped in a screen
\nOverflows with yellow and green
\nCourageous arrows that never meet
\nAre flying from the heartbreak street
\nJust give hope to a yearning heart
\nLet every table be a new start
\nFantasy fountains are blooming bright
\nOn such a forlorn joyful night<\/p>\n

8\/4\/2022
\nAt a Subway restaurant near the Colorful Fountains, LA<\/p>\n

ii)\u00a0Trader Joe\u2019s<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

From infinity to a fading past
\nWhy do peaceful memories never last
\nSturdy guardian is standing tight
\nNameless beams are burning bright
\nPlanes are flying to eternity
\nLeaving only a trace of uncertainty
\nForlorn fountain captures a tranquil second
\nFormed by another courageous legend
\nAn imperceptible hesitation stopped by
\nWondering when purity grew to the sky
\nClouds passing by an airtight wall
\nContinue to embrace an exhausted mall<\/p>\n

8\/5\/2022
\nAt Trader Joe\u2019s in USC Village<\/p>\n

iii) Target<\/strong><\/p>\n

A peaceful night remembers desolate dreams
\nLike the inconspicuous box overflowing with creams
\nCarts transcend pedantic rules of limits
\nWatching wandering goals ignite brimming spirits
\nRed circles hiding from the beckoning sculpture
\nUncanny uniforms uncover a nostalgic juncture
\nColorful balloons dream dazzling fantasy
\nSurpassing the last bound in the galaxy
\nFear in nature is twinkling audacious hopes
\nTaking back all stars beyond melancholy scopes
\nStrange umbrellas calling the receding dove
\nCasual fragrances have lightened the eternal love<\/p>\n

8\/10\/2022
\nAt Target on Figueroa St, LA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

IV. Nostalgic Hotel<\/strong><\/p>\n

Holding tight, an angel is about to awaken
\nDreamy lights are unfastening
\nNight winds sending a burst of charm
\nStanding like the land, hoping like the sea
\nAloof hearts are burning with innocent tears<\/p>\n

Holding tight, a journey is about to leave
\nBright trees are waving
\nThe untouched moon uncovering a beam of wonder
\nChasing like a kid, dreaming like a bird
\nLonesome adventures are lost with yearnings<\/p>\n

Holding tight, a valley is about to rise
\nPeaceful memories are drifting down
\nThe congealed time striking fragrance
\nStout like a sword, cloying like a sandwich
\nNameless valor is found with fantasy<\/p>\n

Holding tight, the stillness is about to fly
\nUnchained pasts are catching up
\nA restless rebel being back sobering
\nGaudy like a flower, helpless like an orphan
\nEternal stars are calling with lost souls<\/p>\n

7\/24\/2022
\nAt Westin-Bonaventure Hotel, LA<\/p>\n

\u00a0\uff08Note:\u00a0When I was writing the last verse, I heard of the LA park shooting that happened the same day that Sunday. That\u2019s why I said the last few lines in this poem. This poem is dedicated to those killed and their loved ones.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

III. Shooting Star<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Who\u2019s ever heard
\nUnder the detached sky
\nIn the grief wind
\nThere\u2019s an agonizing street<\/p>\n

At the end of the road
\nLies a dreary stream
\nThere swim ghastly birds
\nAnd the woods of demise<\/p>\n

Beneath a quiver tree
\nDesolation strives to fly
\nA child\u2019s soul was buried
\nEvery hope could die<\/p>\n

A meteor\u2018s crossing the cloud
\nWhen shall she return to the sky
\nThe firmament was shocked
\nHis open arms couldn’t keep this heart<\/p>\n

A beam sprays on the street
\nEvery light is so queer
\nIt disturbs stars in the water
\nConsisting of the moon\u2019s tear<\/p>\n

The moon is not satisfied
\nThat he\u2019s lost a star\u2019s care
\nBut why is he still shining
\nAnd shining so bright<\/p>\n

Oh how senseless
\nWhy should he feel blue
\nBut somehow that hurt him deeper
\nThan any lightyears he’d been though<\/p>\n

The moon was kind and blind
\nHe thought stars knew his mind
\nHe believed they desired more love
\nOr else he would’ve never tried<\/p>\n

The moon feels so lonely
\nThat a soul mate has left his sky
\nThe moon feels so sad
\nThat maybe she never belonged here<\/p>\n

Anguish quietly floats down
\nTo the same street of gloom
\nThe aloof wind howls hard
\nThrough the soul’s lonesome tomb<\/p>\n

7\/19\/2022
\nAt Stardust Apt, LA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

II.\u00a0Like a bird<\/strong><\/p>\n

We were surrounded in a cloud
\nWith too little care
\nWe were lost in a sky
\nWith too much fear
\nWhy it’s gotta be true
\nWho will tell me why<\/p>\n

We were left in a world
\nWhere no feelings were shared
\nWe were trapped in a coop
\nWhere no dream was cheered
\nBut as long as you have hope
\nWe can let our souls fly<\/p>\n

Did you see the glimmer
\nApproaching all the dark
\nDid you hear the wind
\nChasing all our scare
\nWhile you can love
\nThe sun will appear<\/p>\n

There was a lonely heart
\nNo escaping the rain
\nThere were blue memories
\nFilled with unruly pain
\nWhy do you seem weary tonight
\nYou gotta fly, you gotta fly<\/p>\n

While you are lost
\nI’ll forever be there
\nWhile you can dream
\nYou have the strength to fly
\nDon’t be falling in the dark
\nCome sit by me
\nLet hope block all the dread<\/p>\n

Still yearnings are there
\nWhat do you feel inside
\nGet out of the past
\nShake off all your despair
\nGive me your hand
\nYou’ve never left my mind<\/p>\n

Tell me why
\nWhy are you troubled in detached
\nTell me why
\nWhy can’t you see the sky
\nFree up the guard
\nLet the joyful times appear
\nBreak down the shackle
\nLet our stray souls fly
\nAre you still here
\nAre you still here<\/p>\n

No need to be depressed
\nThe sky will soon be clear
\nNo need to be scared
\nI\u2019ll be always by your side
\nI\u2019ll be always by your side<\/p>\n

July 8th, 2022
\nAt USC Village<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I.\u00a0Lost in Los Angeles\u00a0<\/a>
\nClick here to listen\u00a0(read by Nathanial)
\n<\/a>Click here to listen\u00a0(read by Ivan)<\/a><\/strong>
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Are you afraid\uff1f
\nI\u2019ve seen the dark and light.
\nDo you believe in fate?
\nIt\u2019s a melting town alright.<\/p>\n

Are you afraid\uff1f
\nBlue night with shaking stars.
\nNameless tracks chasing restless hearts,
\nOut of disguise all was found.<\/p>\n

Are you afraid?
\nKindness is seeking its way.
\nA lone warrior has his day.
\nHe\u2019s felt the mountaintop overhead.<\/p>\n

Are you afraid?
\nTrue love shall never fade.
\nIf you\u2019ve seen the grace,
\nWhy were you lost in the promised land?<\/p>\n

Are you afraid?
\nAll the unruly years in a bind.
\nWatching memories of serenity float,
\nLet the best of time freeze and stay.<\/p>\n

Are you afraid\uff1f
\nI\u2019ve seen the dawning and twilight.
\nHave you been weary tonight?
\nIt\u2019s a melting town alright.<\/p>\n

Jun 25, 2022
\nOn South Flower St, LA\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n \n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\n\n \n \n
\n\n \n

Last update: Sep 2, 2024<\/em><\/p>\n

Back to my poetry page<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Back to my homepage<\/em><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n <\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":390,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-274","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n2022 - Ivan Z. Feng<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/ivan\/2022-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2022 - Ivan Z. Feng\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/dornsife.usc.edu\/ivan\/2022-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ivan Z. 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